Saturday, October 31, 2009

Killer Plants!

Boo! Bwahahaha! Grr! Rawr! Gary Busey! ARGH!

Now that's I've got the scares out, you're ready to endure a onslaught of scary movie monsters! I'm here to count down a bunch of movie monsters by category. First category is Killer Plants! I don't know till what I'll count down to; I think till I run out of monsters, memory, categories and my mortal life. I think I''ll keep it running till after halloween to strecht out the fun times, since everyone has been doing for the last week. Now lets get this started!

Pod People

Yes from Invasion of the Body Snatchers! I always loved those silly pod people taking over bodies only to drone about endlessly taking over the world. I wanted something more plant like but I couldn't think of anything else really, and nobody likes lists of 4, that's simply unnatural. Best defense against these weeds? Well hard to say exactly, Jeff Goldblum wasn't a full life saving capacity in the 70's and early 80's, he wasn't able to stop a plant invasion nor a fly mutation. So its nearly impossible to say the best defense he didn't learn how to defend against dinosaurs or create a virus for an alien mothership yet. If he would to have a rematch today he would of promplty kicked their ass in a screaching battle; 2 hours of Jeff Goldblum and a pod person screaching contest? best movie ever or best ever ever? Let Jeff Goldblum decide.


Descendant (kinda) of the badass himself, Godzilla. True man might be the true monster from messing with god and creating this abomination, but the creation is still the giant city destroying monster here. With the constant tampering of Godzillas radioactive DNA (I miss the days where radiation could do whatever the hell you wanted) scientists crated this mosnter from studying the supernatural properties of a rose. Best Defense against this rose? Fucking Godzilla.

Killer Tomatoes

I fucking hate tomatoes. I don't like tomatoes on anything I eat really, sure maybe paste or something because then it can jump on you. My dad grows tomatoes in our garden, which I keep telling him to destroy them all. He always responds "You simply haven't eaten a good tomato yet" and I keep responding "You simply haven't had a tomato kill you...yet...". Best defense against this vegetable somehow parading as fruit? Angsty teen love music! I think? Whatever catch one and put your Ipod in shuffle and see what'll kill it.


Now these are the bad boys here, from Day of the Triffids. They frikin wait or appear at the same time something appear to blind more than 99% of the world. When that happens they wobble endlessly shooting poison at people, and no they don't eat them immediatly they wait till they frikin decompose, ya know because of the lack of mouth and everything. Its juste a giant waiting game for these guys. Best defense? Walking away and anything thicker than a bed sheet to stop the spitting poison.

Audry II

Now here's the king of all the plant monsters, from Little Shops of Horrors! He doesn't muck around with one talent, he uses every horror aspect, he's a killer plant who messes with your head to get you to kill people, oh and he's a mean green mother from outerspace bent on world domination. Not to mention his amazing singing voice. Best defense? hard to say I haven't see the original version, but I have seen the movie musical version and he is destroyed. But the irky detail is that in the original version of the musical he multiplies and takes over the world and seems nearly invincible. So if you can't beat em' join em'

1 comment:

Siskoid said...

There's also the triffid-like Krynoid from Doctor Who's Seeds of Doom. A personal favorite.